So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
