just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize