it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
