If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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