Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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