My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
