Who did Billy Mays play for?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize