Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
