I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize