I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize