She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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