her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
