That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
