question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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