Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
