Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
BRING THE BAGELS
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
