I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
