Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My vagina just recognized that song.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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