I showed him my bush... on skype.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
