don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
