I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
