I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
