Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
