guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
