Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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