I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
