ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He passed out mid-signature
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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