Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
