Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize