nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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