I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
