I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was like eating out sand paper
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
