Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
