Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
