that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
