Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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