So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
