Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
