Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sorry about my life...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
