I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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