yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
