when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
