BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
