he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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