So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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