Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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