he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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