i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
