Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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