Where is the hickey?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
