Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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