HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
