I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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