Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
