Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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