he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize