The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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