This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
how do flat chested girls get laid?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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