we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
