you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize