I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize