So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
