if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
